I think this has been one of the biggest, busiest years of my life. I’ve…
- Settled into a new job
- Hit 5 years of Literature and Lentils
- Started this Substack
- Read over 100 books, the most I’ve read in years
- Gotten back on track with writing regularly (and having routine critique exchanges with my crit partner)
- Moved from North Carolina to the northeast
- Got married to my partner of 8 years (!!)
- Bought a house
I’m proud of my husband and I for tackling all of these big changes together. I’m very lucky to have a true life partner who’s enthusiastic about sharing the load! I think we’ve managed a challenging year with grace, patience, and love.
When I sat down to write this, those were the things that came to mind first. It’s so easy to overlook the smaller wins in a year filled with so many big tasks and changes. So here’s a few “smaller” things I’m also proud of:
I managed my chronic illnesses better, having fewer migraines and managing my IBS well enough that I’ve been able to take more risks with what I can eat. I love food but often struggle with anxiety around eating because of my IBS, and it’s been such a relief to just enjoy more of my meals again.
I’ve travelled a lot, which isn’t something I’m always very comfortable with or excited to do. I travelled with my husband (which I love, although it’s hard to leave our cats) and I’ve travelled alone (I even travelled alone to a whole new city, Baltimore, for a work conference! No coworkers or friends, just me navigating the travel and making new friends for a few days).
Beyond just writing more regularly, I’ve tackled a whole new genre! I’ve done a deep dive into romance, reading and analyzing what makes a good romance *good*. It’s been so fun to hone my craft in a different way and I’m confident the skills I’m gaining from the romance novel I’m writing will improve the romance subplot in my fantasy novel.
I cooked so many new recipes! I tried new foods and ingredients and challenged myself to try new cooking techniques (over Thanksgiving, I cooked duck breast for the first time—and quite successfully, if I may say so!). Cooking remains a big source of self care for me, even though my IBS can often leave me feeling disconnected from food and reluctant to eat. Cooking regularly at home allows me to make food that’s less likely to trigger my IBS *and* helps me feel excited to eat even if I don’t feel super great.
I made new friends! I moved a lot as a kid—2 years in Missouri, 4 years in Connecticut, 4 years in Nebraska, and then I was in North Carolina through the end of high school. I always felt like I was leaving friends behind, learning how to start over in places with new social dynamics with new unspoken rules for how I was supposed to act. I feel like I’m very good at starting over and making new friends out of necessity, but I also struggle with a lot of insecurity around friendship. I’ve often had very flakey friend groups that would bail, even on special events like my birthday. But in the last 2 years especially, I’ve started to make some real, lasting friendships again—and I’m remembering that it’s actually okay and normal to expect things of our friends (that will probably be it’s own post at some point).
I made some strong friendships in Boone, despite only being there for 2 years, and I’m so grateful for the Booked on Sundays bookclub for being the first group to remind me of how real friendship feels for the first time in awhile. I’m also grateful for the friends I’ve met in the Upper Valley of VT/NH: my husband’s coworkers have been incredibly welcoming to us and so supportive, jumping at opportunities to offer a hand when we move (something that I’ve rarely had friends offer in the past). I even made a friend in the coffee line at my now-favorite coffee shop!
I don’t want to sound ungrateful to any of my long-time friends who read this (you know who you are—I love you!!). I’ve been very blessed to have a small handful of good friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin over the years. But we now live in different areas of the country, and it’s been so nice to feel like I’m building real friendships where I live: people who I can invite over for regular dinner and game nights. That sense of community is so key in rural communities and I feel much better about moving to rural Vermont knowing that I’m building these connections.Related to friendship, I attended a friend’s dystopian book club this year and had a great time discussing books critically with other people—pretty much the first time I’ve gotten to do that since my Master’s. It was so nice reading with people who were committing to learning and engaging critically with the books.
Next year, I want to continue the small, healthy habits I’ve been building. I want to continue to make time for my friends. I want to continue reading for both joy and for honing my craft. I want to finish my romance novel (I’m ~30% done!). I want to post here at least once a month. I want to continue to take care of my body by eating well, incorporating daily movement, and weight lifting. I want to explore my new home state. I want to host people at the house and cook fun food for my friends!!
I hope y’all won’t mind if this is a little bit of an accountability space for me to talk about those things. And I’d love to know what you like seeing! Book reviews, recipes, thoughts about things like friendship and community…tell me what you want to see and I’ll work it into my plan for 2026.
XOXO,
Rae
